Health and Balance Your Best Bet Addressing Change

How being told to “take my vitamins” gave a clue to sustainably working with constant change

Over the past few months I’ve been thinking back on moments when my life changed radically. It feels important to explore the lessons I’ve learned as a way to navigate the big changes that have taken place in 2020 and undoubtedly will continue in 2021.

To my surprise one personal story keeps popping up.

A number of years ago I got a divorce. Living in a foreign country means that my parents only found out about my choice to leave my then husband through a phone call. It also meant that we didn’t end up seeing one another as I navigated the end of my relationship without them, or other family members close by.

I remember being worried as I picked up the phone wondering what my parents would say. Would they support my decision? Would they see it as a failure? Who would I be in their eyes? I also remember really feeling a need to have them say something wise to me, something to help me as I got ready to navigate a scary new situation in my life. My mother asked me if I felt that this was truly the right decision and I said yes, and then she “okay, if that is how you feel then then we support you, just remember to take your vitamins…..”

What!!!??!!! I stared at the phone flabbergasted. How could this be her advice. At the time I was so angry and confused that I blocked out the rest of what she said. If I hadn’t I’d have heard her say….”this is a hard time, you need to take care of yourself make sure your body and mind are healthy so you can deal with the pressure that will come.” In my anger I thought she was being condescending but over time I’ve come to realize that this was great advice. It was filled with compassion and it held a much overlooked key to responding well to change.

I have come to understand her message this way. “You’re going to be facing a lot of change right now, so it is important that you keep yourself healthy. For her that translated to vitamins because this was her “home base” the thing that she knew about. It was her main frame of reference for health. As the divorce process went on, I realized how important it was to take care of my health and yes, even to make sure I was getting enough vitamins…