Make Space For Grief, It’s A Human Superpower
The only constant in life is change. Our capacity to deal with change, to flow with it, adapt, innovate and shift determines our individual and collective ability to lead lives of grace. Change is inextricably linked with emotions, those essential sensations that encompass all parts of our being. And the emotion I want to talk about in relation to change is grief.
Grief has many faces and can show up in many ways
Grief is not linear, it’s messy, filled with conflicting and confusing feelings. There are moments of epiphany and beauty and moments of deep disconnection and sadness. It is its own master guiding you into new spaces and whether or not you want to go to where they bring you, resistance is ill-advised.
Profound changes have been taking place over the past year as Covid-19 became the leading character in so many of our lives. These changes are triggering a myriad of responses. For some people it’s lead to a burst into action, making plans, starting new projects, seizing the opportunity, to do something useful. Other people have been paralyzed, drawn into the depths of a mind-numbing sadness. Some people have responded with denial, deciding that the best thing to do is to keep going as if everything were normal. And every day I encounter people in my neighborhood who seem anxious and angry lashing out at what in other circumstances would barely ruffle a feather. All of these reactions are genuine and important, they are all entwined with our emotions and especially with our grief.
I’ve come to have deep respect for grief as a compass that guides me through change to new horizons. Making space to check in with grief helps me to make informed decisions based on what I’m capable of at any given moment. It helps me to realize when there is a need to slow down or when it’s important to speed up. It helps decode anger and address it constructively. Whenever I see agitation in myself or in others, I make it a point to stay open to the possibility that actually what I’m seeing is grief expressing itself. When I stay open to that possibility there is space for curiosity about what lays at the heart of the agitation. It gives me courage to look at what it is, and to give it the attention it needs so that the grief can start to shift, at…
